Sunday, February 07, 2010

Wiiwaa advert, inappropriate overload


I could list all the reasons as to why this video is the full spectrum of wrong, but including that as post content would lead to some rather debatable hits from google.

Just no.

Richie :(

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Watch Tonight!

From the Graudian

Gameswipe With Charlie Brooker 10pm BBC4

Following in the footsteps of Screenwipe, Charlie Brooker's new show- you guessed it- aims its remote at the world of videogames. Whether you're a gamer hater or lover, Gameswipe- part of the Electric Revolution season on BBC4- shows how games can be just as dumb or brilliant as TV and movies. And Charlie certainly knows what he's talking about, having spent his early career causing mayhem at PC Zone. Graham Lineham, Dara O'Brian and Dom Joly are on hand to join in the pixellated fun.

Thoughts on the bit from the Guardian:

1) TV and Movie envy :(
2) Gamer hater or lover? Surely this should be game hater or lover? Who loves gamers?
3) Would have left out the bit about PC Zone, most people think that is a shop where you buy printers.
4) With the exception of Graham Linehan funny men from elsewhere on TV have no place here.
5) Videogame rather than video game? Controversial.
6) Forgot to mention the guys from Videogaiden, which is like writing a blurb for Diana's funeral and focusing on the cunts in the third row at the back and not the silly bitch herself.

Watch it! If it goes well we might see some semi-decent videogame TV shows on the idiot box in the UK.

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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

They should probably sue Sony

'Free lads' have been arrested for mimicking drive-bys using a 'PlayStation Gun'. The beeb knows the score.

"The gun was found to be a silver plastic PlayStation gun. "

Shoddy reporting from the beeb. Was it a G-con? A G-con 2? G-con 3? Or was it a MadCatz pile of shit? Either way the boys should sue Sony because there is fuck all you can do with a PlayStation light gun these days so what other option do kids have after purchasing expensive peripherals that are in no way supported by new platforms.


In unrelated news:
Here is a list of light gun games for the PlayStation and PlayStation 2 you cannot play on the PS3.

Area 51 (Justifier)
Crypt Killer (Justifier)
Die Hard Trilogy (Justifier)
Die Hard Trilogy 2: Viva Las Vegas (Justifier/Guncon)
Elemental Gearbolt (Justifier/GunCon)
Extreme Ghostbusters: Ultimate Invasion (GunCon)
Ghoul Panic (GunCon)
Gunfighter: The Legend of Jesse James (GunCon)
Judge Dredd (GunCon)
Lethal Enforcers 1&2 (Justifier)
Maximum Force (Justifier/GunCon)
Mighty Hits Special (JPN, GunCon)
Moorhuhn series (GunCon)
Point Blank series (GunCon)
Project Horned Owl (Justifier)
Rescue Shot (GunCon)
Resident Evil: Gun Survivor (JPN/PAL versions) (GunCon)
Time Crisis (GunCon)
Time Crisis: Project Titan (GunCon)
Death Crimson OX+ (JP) aka Guncom 2 (EU)
Dino Stalker (EU/NA) aka Gun Survivor 3: Dino Crisis (JP)
Endgame
Gunfighter 2 (EU only)
Gunvari Collection + Time Crisis (JP only)
Ninja Assault
Police 24/7 * Also uses a USB Camera (EU/JP Only)
Resident Evil: Dead Aim (EU/NA) aka Gun Survivor 4 Biohazard: Heroes Never Die (JP)
Resident Evil: Survivor 2 Code: Veronica (EU) aka Gun Survivor 2 Biohazard Code: Veronica (JP)
Starsky and Hutch
Time Crisis: Crisis Zone
Time Crisis II
Time Crisis 3
Vampire Night
Virtua Cop: Elite Edition (EU) aka Virtua Cop Re-Birth (JP)


Here is a list of light gun games you can play on the PS3
Time Crisis 4 (Guncon 3) (Namco, 2007) 6/10 game at best.


Gotta love backwards compatability! And yes, we can and will keep this up until the PS3 is discontinued (ETD December 2009).

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

DANGER: Women in games. Part 2: The Revenge


So it’s been a while since we last decided to tackle the ongoing issue of the fairer sex grasping at the Joystick of the games industry and giving it a good old tug. Last time we touched on this subject we talked about the industries efforts to entice the female market, the vacant “hotties” keeping the guys interested in the industry, and most importantly painstakingly rendered, gorgeously rendered 3D boobies. Almost two years have passed since that last post, has the industry changed? Well it was this article, brought to my attention by Kotaku, which flared my dismay at the industry/humanity. It reads like an open letter to the gaming community proclaiming that girl gamers should be taken down from their pedestal, claiming that an entire gender is still having a hard time in the industry/gaming because of horny adolescent boys.

I'm afraid that I have to go out on an attack on Dairuka, and perhaps TGN, this entire post was clearly written by a cuckolded-pantsu-sniffer with aspirations of being a knight in shining armour for the entire girl gamer community. I'm afraid his post does nothing positive for this sexism in gaming issue these girls are not delicate frail little flowers who are going to break down and just give up gaming. There will always be dicks online, they get fragged online they'll lash out at whatever they can, whether they are from somewhere else, speak different, or simply have a vagina. And regarding the gamer girls flaunting their goods in order to peddle the next over-hyped shooter to the 14-21 bracket, it's not like these girls are coerced, intimidated, forced to do it. It's naive and dare I say it, misogynistic, to think that they don't know what they are doing or the consequences of doing so.

But enough of this blogwarishness in the past year have we seen an improvement in the industry? Is there less sexism in games?

What recent releases have we had that promote those nasty body images, or those negative portrayals of men/women.

Name and shame time.

Fifa09:
My god... where to start, there is not one woman in this game. What are they trying to say? Are women not as good as men at football? Frankly I'm appalled, it even has character creation, with NO OPTION for the oestrogen side.


X-Blades:

As you can see it seems quite well rounded. She is clearly a strong confident women, her face clearly screams jailbait, and in a nice change of pace she is so thin you can see her ribs. Who on Earth could find fault with this little pedo-trap...


Me! Look! No camel toe! Disgraceful! Women should be proud of their labia this is clearly the wrong kind body vagina image to be promoting!

Bayonetta:
Ok so it is not out yet, but I heard there is a skill upgrade later in the game where she incorporates a queef into a combo, staggering the enemies not from disgust but just pure disappointment. Nobody wants to witness that.

Batman - Arkham Asylum:

Actually hats of to Eidos, proving that scantily clad hotties can be loonies too:

Harley Quinn
Pole dancing dominatrix/french-maid/nurse clown woman, Does it get much better? Well if you look at her skirt look there is blood on her crotch! Menstruation-tastic!

Poison Ivy
Veiny leafy green-camel-toe. wnak.

Wet:

Any game that has the gumption to at least even hint at the possibility of moist, glistening, vaginas gets a thumbs-up from me.

Resident Evil 5:

And of course we cant chat about sexist games without mentioning RE5. for some reason she cannot use the Gatling gun... What is she too frail? Though this just might end up being a race issue.


That's it for now, I could easily re-hash the old arguments of negative portrayals are not exclusive to women. How it is all just fantasy How, yes there are women out there that have big breasts, and its only less attractive and less well endowed women who have issue with this, mainly because they don't have the option to entice and manipulate men as the beautiful ones do. But I shan't, just check the previous post.

Signing out.

Richie XXX

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Dead Fantasy IV, V and VI

This is not dead fantasyWe're fans here of the one man project which despite being an overwhelmingly fan pleasing endeavour and entirely violence oriented manages to put most modern games and the whole of Hollywood to shame including blockbuster movies featuring transforming robots with million dollar budgets and fight scenes which are made by putting a kettle, two forks and a sieve into a washing machine, setting it on spin and filming it.

This one guy, with less time, staff, money, technology and cocaine does better. By a million. I would happily pay full price for Dead Fantasy I-V on DVD than Resident Evil Shitgeneration, those awful other Resident Evil Films and Advent Children put together.

And who needs a storyline? Buy a fucking book if you want stories. Pricks.

Anyway Dead Fantasy IV, V and VI are kinda up on the net. But we're not going to post a link here until Monty Oum himself uploads the full versions any day now....

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