Friday, November 27, 2009

Microfanficcing- Our Story.

We've literally just invented microfanficcing everybody. And now after all the lies, plagiarism and law suits we're now ready to tell our story about how it all started.

Richie: Well it all started when we I was excited about the Chocobo for the Xbox 360 avatars.
Cunzy1 1: Yeah. I was ridiculing him for having a light sabre, chocobo and megatron hat and being over the age of 15.
Richie: That's right. Well I went on to say that the only reason I wanted the chocobo was to pretend I was Irvine from Final Fantasy 8 and get to bad touch Selphie.
Cunzy1 1: Then... oh god this sounds so bad. Then we went on to talking about Zell. I mean here is this guy in this band of merry men each with different skillz and all he can do is punch people.
Richie: He doesn't even have a dog.
Cunzy1 1: Exactly and then I asked Richie what he called Angelo because I called Angelo 'bitch' so Rinoa's limit break was Bitch Strike and Bitch Rush. Then Richie fan ficked the Bitch name origin story.
Richie: And I guess that was the world's first micro fanfic!
Cunzy1 1: Yeah. Yeah it totally was.
Richie: The rest they say is history.


Thanks to TGAm for the exclusive.

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Monday, October 12, 2009

Top ten genicon gaming characters.

We wanted to say the Gypsie woman from Alex Kidd but couldn't find an image of her so it's Gorilla boy instead. Look it is Monday okay!It's Monday okay! Much easier to bash out a dirty top ten than it is to do any actual thinking. Here are our top ten characters to get you 'there' if your current humpee ain't doing it no more.

1) Q Bert
2) Merchant from RE4
3) Zangief
4) Lickitung
5) Ms Pac Man
6) Aeris (dead).
7) Zelda as Sheik.
8) That tranny from Neir.
9) The gorilla dude, above, from Alex Kidd when he loses a game of paper, scissors, stone (and also his undies)
10) Murdered maidens in Tenchu.

All of these are tried and tested winners according to our girlfriend.

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Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Horrid person

If you are here you have clicked on a horrible weblink. Whilst you are here, think about your mother and the thing you just clicked on. Would she be happy she raised you, her son/daughter, so you could click on some filthy filth filth. Of all the content on the internet, the greatest thoughts on the whole range of human activity and the best you can manage is looking up "Sonic Upskirt" or some such. Be ashamed. Be so ashamed or just go to deviant art.

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Dear TGAM....

This is yet another first in a 'probably not going to get past two series of posts' series here at TGAM. It seems that a lot of people stumble upon TGAM by typing filthy questions into search engines. They then stay for an average of 00:00 to 00:01 seconds before going elsewhere, questions unanswered. It seems that nobody has heard of GAMEfaqs, fucking idiots. Well we're here to help you. An agony aunt for the depraved youth of today who don't know how to do searches properly.

So this will be a weekly surgery to answer those burning questions that many of you think we can't answer here at TGAM:




1)Every week about a thousand people look for Sheva Nude, Sheva's panties, nude, nude code, nude mods, naked, nude patch, naked cheat, Sheva's ass and combinations of all of the above. The full cheat is here but you're better off just creaming off a hot one over at deviant art.

2)List of dinosaur games. You can cobble together most of them by visiting here. But here's an abriged list of games that feature dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures in games. There are more but you'll have to find them yoursel'. 101 dino pets, Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing Wild World, Animal Crossing Let's Go to the City, Ape Escape, Batman Lego, BUZZ! JUNIOR DINO DEN, Carnivores, Carnivores 2, Carnivore Ice Age, Carnivores Cityscape, Clever Kids Dino Land, Combat of giants: Dinosaurs, Dino Hunter, Dino King, Dino Land, Dinotopia: The Sunstone Odyssey, Dino Master, Dino Stalker, Dinosaur park, Disney's Dinosaur x 3, DoA 4, Dinosaur World, Dorito's Dash to Destruction, Endless Ocean, Evil Dead Fistful of Boomstick, Fossil Fighter, Fossil League Dino Tournament Championship, GTA IV, Ice Age, Ice Age 2, Jet Pack Brontosaurus, Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park III DNA Factor, Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis, Jurassic Park Trespasser, Jurassic Park Dino Defender, Jurassic Realm, The Land Before Time: Into The Mysterious Beyond, Lost World: Jurassic Park, Off World Velociraptor Safari, Paraworld, Peter Jackson's King Kong the Official Game Of The Movie, Pokemon (various), Sea Monsters A prehistoric Adventure, Siphon Filter, Small Arms, Splashdown 2, Stranglehold, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Syberia, Syberia II, Tekken 2, Tekken 5, Tekken Tag Tournament, Tomb Raider 3, Tomb Raider 10th Anniversary Edition, Turok: Dinosaur Hunter, Turok Evolution, Turok (Xbox 360), Turok Rage Wars, Turok 2 Seeds of Evil, Top Trumps Dogs 'n' Dinosaurs, Warcraft III, War of the monsters, Warpath Jurassic Park, and Zoo Tycoon: Dinosaur digs.

3) CG Boobs.

4) Jill Valentine's Diseased Vagina: Image here

5) Coco Bandicoot porn comics. Seriously? Fucking furries. Okay here it is.

6) Dead Fantasy. FFS you stupid idiots. The guy's name is Monty Oum and the best place to find Dead Fantasy the guy or Dead Fantasy Full Versions is over on Monty's page on Game Trailers.

7) Dead Rising Where do you find the Wrestling Boots when you unlock them. They are under the staircase you first come down when you get off the chopper.

8) Does wearing beanies/hats make nits rare? No. Plus it makes you a cunt.

9) Forms of Rotom. You want here then.

10) How do you get masks on heads on zombies on dead rising wii. You have to shoot them in the knee so that they get into the coruched prone position then you'll be prompted to put cone/bucket/mask on them. Annoyingly, the further you get in the game upgrading your weapons means it's nigh impossible to do later on because even the pistol blows their legs clen off.

11) Film of 2 birds wanking guy. Congratulations, you failed to find porn on the internet. I think your problem is you are being way to colloquial and specific.

12) How to kill and dispose. Well the methods of killing are varied and scenario/environment related. Disposing of the body is harder. Don't just ditch it in a river because they always get found. Our favourite way of disposing of a body is to cover it in gloves and umbrellas and hey presto! Within a week you will have lost the body, gloves and umbrella.

13) How to command sheva on resident evil 5. She being a bit unruly? Well first of all you can read the fucking book and find out. Secondly, you need to use the d-pad for various commands, check with which button you need for Xbox 360/PS3 versions.

14) ibrate sex. Filth.

15) Modes of joining culture emo. Be middle class, wear black, whinge about things, listen to crap suicidal music, threaten to kill yourself but never do it, wear a lot of white make up, get some piercings, watch Donny Darko, type "emo forum" into web browser.

16) net yaroze zombie maze. You mean Ed Fedemeyer's Haunted Maze. It is the best game ever.

17) real life animal crossing tarantula attack. I was attacked by the animal crossing tarantula and the scorpion in real life many many times. They automatically attack you if you get too close with the net. Try finding them and getting the net out when you are far away. They should then walk slowly towards you and you can catch them before they get ya.

18) Resident evil rape. Nasty piece of work, but since you asked so nicely.

19) Who is the Ram Raider. Yeah, like it would be that easy. Here's a clue, who isn't the Ram Raider?

20) Soul calibur cum drawings. For drawings of characters cumming see here.. For drawings of characters where cum is used as a medium, see here.

Well sadly, that is all we've got time for now. We could spend all day doing this the stupidity and depravity of people seems to know no end. Apologies for all those people looking for Ayane, Jill, Sheva, Dante and Trish upskirts. We're saving that link for next week. There seems to be a healthy Wolverine nude community too but we are saving those for an all gay update at some point . Also, sorry we couldn't help all those people struggling on Agatha Christie's and then there were none (the universal embrocation is by the bee hives on the floor).

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Breaking News from Gaylando

I skip town for a few days and all hell breaks loose. Reports of abuse, AXE MENTALISTS and the credit change crisis. Not to mention the weeds. GOD the weeds.

Minnesota police were right!
This seals it. I'm boycotting Nooks until all this blows over*

A sentiment many would love to share
Economic crisis and or credit crunch hits virtual world. Would be the headline I would get the BBC intern to write using this screenshot. I'd put climate change in there too.

Good, kill Poncho he keeps paying under the going rate for my fish
An AXE MENTALIST came to town too.

The rumours are that you are an axe mentalist. Tell me it isn't so
This is not how you talk to AXE MENTALISTS.

But elixirs are really hard to come by
Nor this.

Acid bubbles
Expect lives to be lost.

*Well maybe next week. I have turnips I need to sell this week.

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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

You are probably here looking for filth.

Yes you are aren't you? If you are the three people that came here yesterday looking for "soul calibur xxx" you probably want to go here or here. If you are the people desperate to find the "devil may cry 4 front mag" stuff you should go here. For the person looking for jay haffling, presumably Jay himself, go here. For the sicko who was looking for people with viagra naked, I would refine your search a bit first and the sad soul looking for porn guy blogger, we presume you didn't find them here.

Disappointing people, disappointing. Where is the imagination? Where are the searches for Guy Cocker or Naked Bif? We've got baby death and all kind of things to put into any orifice of choice. Boobs you want boobs? We got boobs in various flavours, WoW, Resident Evil Underboob (neathage) to mention but a mere few. We got spluff the biscuit going on too. You're not even googling terms like Red & White Bum Marmite and Green and bloody douche juice but it is all here for ya! All this and more and if you are taking an average of thirty seconds to get yourself off our archive should last you a year before you need to get fresh material.


In short filthy teenagers, you sorely disappoint us with your lack of imagination and creativity. I imagine your moms would be dissapointed too when she sees that the best you could manage was "people naked with viagra". Hopefully you'll be directed to this page from now on as a kind of taster index to all kinds of gaming filth held here.


Cunzy1 1

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