Racoon City Times

On our trails through the blogosphere we stumbled upon this site: Racoon City Times. Of course straight away we were amused to see another Resident evil themed blog. Immediately, of course, we at TGAM chuckled at the glaringly obvious typo of "Raccoon" but with only one "C". As no strangers to tyops ourselves, we decided to overlook this and check out the content. As we are a games blog we shall review this blog in a games review style.

When you first start Racoon City Times there are a few things that strike you: The site is black, blatantly a rip-off of the old TGAM layout, even down to the font. The Silent hill Banner gets you confused as to what message this blogger is sending is it a resident evil site, is it a Silent hill site. And finally if you are going to use an obscure off-topic banner, at least try to make it fit the rest of your blog.

The Racoon City Times name conjures up images of a news report site from with in Resident evil, perhaps even a themed blog for resident evil news.

Hell maybe even a fanfic style blog from one of the reporters in Raccoon City (You must be Ben. Right? Get up!). But after the first couple of posts you are starting to see a trend which goes against all of your preconceptions, and not in a good way, you find yourself glancing over all the articles in the hope of getting the Resident Evil flavour that the title of this blog suggests. But to no avail... As you scroll further and further down you will realise there are no Resident Evil posts, you then scan over to the Labels, you see:
Obscure, Silent hill, Project Zero... And no Resident Evil.

Graphics: 1/10
Content: 1/10
Layout: 0/10

Overall score for Racoon City times: 1/10 (Abysmal)

Stupid Fucking Site More Like

So everyone on the internet likes to whinge but there is nothing worse than a loser and a not so loser that like to whinge about their shitty job, online, whilst they work at their shitty job.

Go here to read this big bag 'o' shite.



Here are the problems with the website "I'm a stupid customer service nerd" in a numbered list:



1) They whinge all the time about how crappy their job is yet never do anything about it like skim people's credit cards or leave the store unlocked on purpose.

2) It's as if they haven't seen Clerks or understand that they just come off as whiney nerds. Everyone has worked shit jobs but most of us managed to move on with our lives.

3) The woman (Mario Mark) almost never talks about women's issues such as periods, pregnancy boobs or grief online. Get with it bird.

4) They so desperately want to be UK:Resistance that they write about it in the comments all the time and steal their posts and spend most of the day in the work toilets furiously masturbating over a fantasy email from Zorg. It's never going to happen losers.

5) They pretend to be men on the internet. That is so early 90s. You can practically smell rag juice on each and every post. The smell is worse around the 24th of the month.

6) One of them, the gay one, pretends that 'he' has a girlfriend. Sometimes 'he' pretends they are married.

7) Most of the comments are between the blog writers. SAD.

8) Phorenzik has pretended to give up smoking for 10 days. We all know you have had a secret packet and have smoked at least twice every day.

9) They take photos of each other and then give them nicknames like "Smells of piss sandles man" and pretend they are customers.

10) They hide behind fake names and identities which is so weak. They won't even reveal which store they work in in case the manager finds out they've been clam-kissing behind the counter and closing the shop for twenty minutes.

11) Their website looks shit. White writing on a black background is the colours paedos use to groom underage dogs.

12) They are rubbish at games but pretend they are good.

13) They post fake interviews with celebrities. Gheeeeeeey.

14) Mario Mark is in love with phorenzik but phorenzik is assexual and really enjoys poetry.



Get a life guys and get off the internets. Boo hoo your life is rubbish and only the other spods from UK:Resistance pay attention to your depserate cries for help. Do the world a favour ladies, have one last double douche in the bath then slit each others wrists using a Wiimote. Then when you both realise that it wasn't that bad phone the ambulance and cry down the phone. I bet the only person to miss you would be your manager but only after a month when he realises that the counter has stopped smelling of fresh squadge.



Noogins.



Cunzy1 1 and Richie