New That Guys 'Girlfriend' Identified

See here the lovely Lisa Courtney officially has the World's Largest Collection of Pokemon Memorabilia and we are seething with jealousy so bad right now.
We thought we were contenders for it but Lisa's collection dwarfs the TGAM meagre collection of:

• Copies of Pokemon Red, 2 x Blue, Yellow, SIlver, Gold, Ruby Sapphire, Diamond, Pearl, Platinum, TCG, Ranger, Link, Stadium, Stadium 2, Colosseum, Ruby & Sapphire Box, Channel, XD, Snap and Mystery Dungeon Time.
• A Psyduck Plushie.
• Seven or so key rings of Pikachu.
• An Eevee that senses motion and says Veeeeeeeeeee (batteries not working).
• A copy of Pikachu's Global Adventure.
• Legal copies of the first film on DVD and VHS, two copies of the second film and one of the fourth film.
• A bunch of rubbish stuff from that awful day
• Loads more other stuff that we are way too embarrassed to go into. Very little of it is official Nintendo merchandise mind. Some of it is totally home made too.

So, in resurrecting a feature we did four years ago Lisa wins this month's maniac award and is deserving of the title on two separate levels! Expect an interview or shaky photos of her through a window soon! She gets plus points for arranging them in colour.

PS: Also, you should check out that video because our mate Guy Cocker is in it. I'm sure he is a great guy an all but we'll be damned if we could ever get past his name.

Some stuff on Pokemon

Richie is totally away at the moment which means that the thin veil of quality control we pretend we have here at TGAM is now completely gone. However, problems with quality control and staying 'on message' have been with us for months. Despite being called That Guy's A Maniac we haven't posted anything about Resident Evil ever since that Sheva Nude cheat. We should rename ourselves in order to better reflect the content. An obscure eleven year old game quote just won't cut it anymore. In fact I copied all the text from the last month of TGAM and auto-summarized it in word over and over until it pared down to something that looks like a blog title.

This is the result: Time Crisis (GunCon)Time Crisis 3 How much gaming does he do? posted by Cunzy11 at 3:00 PM 3 comments TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 41 Unlike all the other Resident Evil games on this list, this game is new. 42: Wii Play Tanks! In other gaming news: Types. Training. 1. No Legendary Pokémon. 2. No Cheaty Pokémon. * New main game quests GAME. 3)Alternatively do a quick draw game.

TGAM is dead!

Long live Time Crisis (GunCon)Time Crisis 3 How much gaming does he do? posted by Cunzy11 at 3:00 PM 3 comments TGAM top 50 ultimate TGAM top games best list of best games of all time ever: Number 41 Unlike all the other Resident Evil games on this list, this game is new. 42: Wii Play Tanks! In other gaming news: Types. Training. 1. No Legendary Pokémon. 2. No Cheaty Pokémon. * New main game quests GAME. 3)Alternatively do a quick draw game.

Expect T-shirts to hit the stores soon!

In other news: There's a new Pokemon clone in town and it is called Bakumon or something and here is why is it highly unlikely to be a Pokemon beater. There are scores of Pokemon clones out there Fossil Fighters, Dino King, Invisimles to mention but a few of the recent offerings. They always get tipped for success but they never do what they promise or what people hype them to do. Aside from being late to the table they never replicate the success of Pokemon because:

• They take the idea of catch 'em and then fight 'em but fail to expand the universe or ideas beyond this. For example, in Dino King there is literally nothing to do outside of progressing the central story. The same is true of Fossil league and Dino Master. Pokemon Diamond and Pearl are still challenging after 500+ hours because there are thousands of gameplay elements that underlie the central game and most of them are very very deep or complex.
• The variation in Pokemon is infinite. 491 of the blighters to choose between in the first instance, most of which can be male or female, each one will have one of 25 natures, options from a pool of tens of different moves to fill the four move slots, Individual values, effort values, choice out of hundreds of hold items etc. etc. By contrast the clones tend to have very limited or poorly understood mechanisms for creating variation which reduces the replayability value and prevents the build up of a dedicated community who want to master the game.
• Although anime series come with these franchises almost as standard it is clear that either the series or the game has been tacked on afterward and continuity isn't very well preserved between formats. Although there was a gap between the launch of the Pokemon games and anime in different territories none of the contenders to the throne seem to be as well integrated from the start with elements appearing in both formats.
• The levelling system is very very tight and balanced in Pokemon and after all it's been under development for at least 13 years. In fact even when this system is wholesale lifted out of one genre and put into another as with the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games it still works. From experience of some of the clones it never seems to quite be as balanced or challenging.
• Pokemon, the original 150 at least, are mostly inspired by naturally occurring entities including animals, plants, rocks, martial arts(?) and mythical creatures. Some of the contenders lampoon the lampoon and by being that little bit further removed from a strong central idea takes away a great deal from the flavour. Monsters based on caterpillars, rhinos and the fossil genus Anomalocaris are much more universally appealing than japanese robots, various kinds of dragons and all that Yu-gi-oh shit.
• The cross generation trading of Pokemon keeps the older games alive. I still do some training on the 2003 games before I migrate them to the GC, DS and Wii games. Note that many of these clones are often one shots that appear at the peak of the franchise popularity and then quickly fade away. The phenomenal sales of Pokemon Heart Gold and Soul Silver, essentially a remake of a ten year old game is testament to the longevity of the appeal from the veteran audience as well as attracting new audiences.
• Thanks to the fastidious online Pokemon community almost all of the secrets and mechanics of the games have been revealed. Studying this information before training up your Pokemon almost works well as a meta game in it's own right. Other franchises clearly just don't have this resource and most players are too lazy or busy to try to work it all out for themselves.

In short, it is not good enough to release a shallow catch the monsters-train the monsters-fight the monsters game, an accompanying anime and maybe a TCG then just sit back and expect the profits to come rolling in. Pokemon is very good game in its own right and makers of these clones need to study more than just the box art in order to get it all right.

Lamest Pokemon according to 1up

Yeah ok, So their list is:

Unown - Cuz it is Gimmicky
Beautifly - Cuz its a copy of Butterfree
Luvdisc - Cuz it looks silly and has rubbish stats
Probopass - Cuz it looks really stupid.
Mr Mime - Cuz yeah he is the shittiest pokemon ever.

Now if we were angsty, under-sexed bloggers, we would dispute this claim saying things like, "Luvdisc can be EV trained to be IMBA". But that is not us, we are better than that.

In fact, despite this coming from 1up we whole heartedly agree!

So we are going to gracefully tip our caps to 1up, and expand on the list a wee bit.

Top 5 Shit pokemon that are shit, but not quite as shit as the top 5 lamest pokemon that 1up posted:

5. CastForm:
Shitty weather dependent Pokemon that changes it form based on whatever weather effect is in play, meaning you waste your moveset on weather changing moves. And of course by the time you have actually changed the weather you are dead anyway.





4. Ditto:
Pfft, everyone has at least a lvl 70 one of these, not because they trained the fucker, but because they have leaft it in the daycare center for so long so that it can fuck all your other pokemon and make babies. Slut.







3. Mawile:
Yeah it's a Steel type, big woop, it has terrible moves.Such a disappointment in Ruby/Sapphire for a Pokemon that looks this cool... It needa at least a Pre-evolution and a few steel moves would be nice!







2. Kricketune:
Stupidly weak and... Why did they give it a moustache? I mean really a moustache. I dare you to give me one reason one plausable reason for giving it a moustache!





1. Ludicolo:
Cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheaty cheat






Luv n Hugs,

Richie XXX

Gamer T-shirts

Seriously how effin cool are these T-shirts! Hypno, Mewtwo, Articuno, Cubone... all done in a tasteful* way.

If only there were some other gamer T-Shirts that were tasteful... The hunt begins.

* i.e. you could wear them in public, without people shaking there heads or pointing an laughing at the disgrace that comes with wearing a Pokemon Tshirt.

LET'S GO A MILKING!*

Let's milk the cash cow till only blood comes out. Milk it like a polaroid picture. Milk it, milk, milk, milk, milk it. Milk it, milk, milk, milk, milk it.












*We're still gonna buy it like a bunch of kidulthood fags.

Films are the new games!

Yes they are. Remember when everyone was all about the "yes games are art, yes they make you cry". Who ever cried at a game? The nearest I came to crying was when Richie and I were two-TV, no save, speed running Resident Evil 2 and I died at the end boss. Damn, now I'm welling up again just thinking about it. However, there is a new platform of media that makes people cry. I give you: Pokemon the first movie.


Watch it and cry* like a girl unless you are so heartless. Cold and heartless heathen.


*Not gay crying you understand. Fake allergy crying. We've all got them right? Right?

The Pokemon Drinking Game [Prison rules version]

Sometime soon, not today, maybe not even this year, but before the end of the world Richie and I are going to liveblog playing the ultimate pokemon drinking game. Drinking? Pokemon? Game? I hear no-one say. Yes that's right. Oh you want to play too? Here's the rules:

1) Equitment
You have to pronounce equipment as equitment and skeleton as skellington and vehicle as vericle. It's all part of playing the drinking game. Anyway to fully enjoy the Pokemon Drinking Game you need the following:

• Every single episode of Pokemon the animated series including the films and the Pikachu films (You can illegally download all of these from the internet. I strongly advocate that you do because when 4Kids or Nintendo or whoever finally decide to release all of them in your region there will be 2.5 episodes per DVD and it'll cost £15 each, even then they'll release only half of them).
• A whole week (7 days, preferably 8) with no other commitments. It might be advisable to send your better half away for a week too because it isn't going to be pretty and they are definitely not going to love you more by seeing you play PTDG:PRV (Pokemon the Drinking Game Prison Rules Version)
• 48 Shots of tequila per player
• 24 shots of guiness per player (alternatively black vodka)
• 20 shots of Mount Gay Rum per player
• 29 shots of Aftershock
• 26 shots of Stella Artois
• 34 shots of Sambuca per player
• 65 shots of WKD blue
• 19 Bloody Mary's per player (alternatively shots of Malibu)
• 56 joints (weed) per player*
• 49 shots of coffee per player
• 23 ice cubes per player
• 80 shots of vodka per player
• 51 shots of snakebite per player
• 54 shots of ribena (undiluted) per player
• 38 joints (hash) per player
• 27 shots of Irn Bru per player
• 93 shots of water per player
• A drinkedex ( a drinkedex is a list with all 49odd pokemon on it with their types and space for a tick)

2) The GameThe game is to then watch Pokemon from the start in chronological order, watching the films at the correct place and drinking shots everytime a new pokemon appears on screen (excluding intro sequences) according to their types. The drinks are assigned to the following types:

Bug-Tequila
Dark- Guiness/Black Vodka
Dragon- Mount Gay Rum
Electric- Aftershock
Fighting- Stella Artois
Fire- Sambuca (lit)
Flying- WKD Blue
Ghost- Malibu/Bloody Mary
Grass- Joint (weed)
Ground- Coffee
Ice- Ice cube
Normal- Vodka
Poison- Snakebite
Psychic- Ribena
Rock- Joint (hashish)
Steel- Irn Bru
Water- Water

So the first time Pidgey appears on screen (Flying and Normal types) you have to drink a shot of WKD blue mixed with a shot of vodka and tick it off on the drinkedex. The first time Pikachu appears (Electric type) you drink a shot of aftershock etc. When Arceus appears you have to drink/smoke/eat one of everything from the list.

3) Winning the Game
The winner of the game is the player who upon seeing every pokemon and watching to the end of the current season put their glass on their head and says "It's not just for kids".

So watch this space! We've got all the episodes and some of the alcohol all we need to do is to get the Maniacs together, which typically takes up to 6 months. Until then mayb you too could join in or maybe start buying up some of the equitment needed.

* We don't normally advocate the use of illegal drugs unless she is being a bit resistant but if you want to play the game and show the world that it isn't just for kids, buy a nine bar today!

Nurse Joy Exposed!

Every time you take you pokemon to be healed from too much battling, or they are poisoned, or paralyzed, or generally KO’d, Nurse Joy will happily take your pokemon, without any lectures on animal cruelty. Not only will she heal them up to perfect form but she will then say “We hope to see you again!”. Translated, “Go abuse those pokemon and I’ll heal them up nice and proper so you can do it again”. This service is also free of charge, you know why? ‘cause Nurse Joy get her kicks from it, she sends little kids out in to the world to abuse pokemon and then she fixes them up good and proper, it’s like and underground pokemon abuse ring. Sick.

Enjoy Pokemon Pearl/Diamond (sickos)

Its a new Lap Record!

Thanks to those wonderful people (retailers) who get in imported titles, I am now the proud (well not-so proud, as perhaps more insanely embarassed) owner of pokemon pearl. Suck on that Nintendo! Your hate of Europe will not stop me from playing your game!

In other news Kotaku posted this picture of someone in a bath full of wotsits, I found it hilarious (The picture that is, I have no idea what the article is in reference to. Enjoy:

Anime is?

My Partner (non-gay), colleague and long time Nemesis has made a good point in his last post: this is a Videogames blog and not an anime wank-off.

Now I’ll admit that my original response the previous post was to collect several Naruto/Bleach/One Piece games and do some kind of video game review and to make it pertinent to the blog. But I stopped myself. Though I may find this war of anime post vs non-anime post incredibly hilarious, I started considering the so-called link between anime and video games…

When it comes to anime and video game franchises there is a chicken-and-the-egg scenario, it seems that if a show has certain elements such as plot, special powers or catchy characters there will inevitably be game, and if a game has similar traits then there will be an anime (though not restricted to just anime). Though it should be noted that both can have their roots in a manga comic books, particularly in the case of the original Dragonball Z: Budokai game which stayed true to the plot of manga rather than the anime, however since games will unavoidably use voices, these are taken from the anime.

So wherein does this link between anime and video games lie? I find myself constantly drawn back to one of my theories from a previous post describing the different factors which can make a game “good”

The Tie-In core: A game based on familiar setting, either based on a movie, TV series or a previous franchise, often notoriously bad, however if the developers have time to work on the title, or if the franchise can be translated well, garnished with the other cores, these can be good.
E.g Star wars Titles, any Sequel.

From this we can see that anime is a fantastic medium to draw inspiration for video games from. Anime has rich plotlines and story arcs, it has diverse characters with unique traits, and of course special powers. This means that if a computer game gets released based on an anime, people will be drawn to it to embellish their familiarity with the characters and plot, but on a more superficial level it also means that someone can actually use the characters special powers. The ability to go super saiyan 3, perform a bankai release or just repeat a special move from the show, caters to our own fantasies from the show. If we look at the reviews on gamespot for many of these anime-tie-in games, we can see that though the games may not be constantly inspirational or unique (e.g. simple beat-em-ups) nor will they have exceptionally high scores, the reader reviews will almost always be higher. This is based simply on the fact that the readers (assuming they have seen the anime) have familiarity, and knowledge of the mechanics in the show. Though It is all about getting the right amount of familiarity with the anime, I’m sure we all remember Ghost in the Shell for the Playstation one, I believe it was the worst game released on the PS1, correct me if I’m wrong.

However the reverse scenario is more complicated, and for this I will be venturing out of the realms of just anime and into “western” (apologies for the use of the word “western”, I hate using it as a distinction between Japanese and non-Japanese, we are after all in this world as the same and one unifying mind and soul… blah blah blah… anyways…) “western” movies and animation. Ok let’s start with the big one “the” franchise, the big daddy of all video games… Final Fantasy. We have the Final Fantasy: Spirits Within movie apparently based on the series… But no it was not, it was mediocre and had no familiarity to the games themselves, its plot was confused and stupid similar to that of the ending of “The Hulk”. Nuff said not touching this ever again. Another movie spawned from Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, this was a direct sequel to Final Fantasy VII, this included enough familiarity (geekery?) with characters, plot, locations, music to actually make it an awesome film. Though, of course, anyone who did not play the game would find the film confused and strange. Resident evil movies… not going here either, they made nemesis a good guy. Actually this is as far as I go with “western” movies I’m done (though Silent hill was not too bad). Anime based on games… Lets see what do we have? Darkstalkers, apparently quite good, though the “western” version was cack. . Oh and of course Streetfighter! Anyone who was a fan of the series had to have seen it, (after the dismay of the movie, but we are not talking about that anymore) and Chun Li got her tits out! Other games which have spawned anime, Megaman (Or Rockman as he is called in the “non-western” side), Sonic (sonic has apparently spawned many series spin-offs and different generations) and Lastly… Pokemon. Yeah had to happen, the game came out first but in a strange occurrence, though the series does remain true to the game, both the video game and series are independent of each other both with cult followings that do not necessarily intersect. All thanks to a little electric rat and its cute little voice, chuuuuuuuuuuuu.

So what have we learned here children? Fuck all… I believe I may have just pointed out that video games exist about anime, and vice-versa. And I’m sure y’all knew that anyway.

Note: there is also .Hack some anime game crossover trilogy or something… no idea though.

Utah Saints!

Richie: here to make you question yourselves and open you eyes to new horizons (not in a gay way though)

True confessions - Incoherent rants - Tyops - Part 1

Right so pokemon Diamond and Pearl are due out in the US in a matter of Days… and us unfortunate uk-ians wont get the game till TBC in 2007. Gameplay have it pegged at June 1st, though I doubt any of us expect it then. So my question is a UK DS will play US games, is it worth importing to fulfil my pokemon desires faster? Will there be online problems if I do that?