Why games are not art.

Did you see what I did there? The games are/aren't art thing is long dead. Nobody talks about it anymore and we're not ones to be ahead of the curve! However watching some of the top artists and art critics talk absolute bollocks about what is or isn't even good or bad art in the excellent Saatchi's Best of British TV show has inspired this post. We are not ones to bore you all to death with information written in paragraphs. Our preferred method is the list:

1) Games are of too broad appeal. From a midnight addiction to Minesweeper through to the latest mini game on the iphone. Everyone has at some point played a game. It is really hard to be elitist when everyone knows what you are talking about and can call you out on the BS. So games aren't art because it is too popular. Also, a game which nobody has played makes headlines for a scene taken out of context. A tunnel in which an artist rapes people barely makes Gawker media. People care about games even if it is in a negative way. Few people care about art.

2) Games are made by too many people. One artist is fine. Two makes a collaboration but the armies that fill the credits of most games today? Too many. The pedestal is not big enough for all of them.

3) Games are too objective. Not completely objective otherwise every game would be like the next (well this does happen). But if somebody makes a rubbish game they would never get away with "I was inspired by Indian immigrants outside my studio". People would just say your game is shit Midway and you are full of bollocks.

4) Games are too demanding. Few works of art would demand that you spend 100 hours engaging with them in order that you could talk to a fellow art enthusiast about the work with some level of authority. In fact with the exception of interactive art and audience participation performance art the only demand made is that people go to an art gallery to feel cultural and stuff. Art critics and the like already write a gazillion volumes on art as it is. Imagine if they got into the games scene. Ugh.

5) Games are too modern. The currency of the art world is private views with plenty of canapes and wine, exclusive tours, self indulgence and making everybody rich. The currency of the gaming community is flame wars on forums, a community wide but individual celebration of a new games launch and the occasional awkward moment IRL. To try to force the community to attend galleries, exhibitions and lectures would ruin a lot of what makes the game community so vibrant.

6) Gamers have a long way to go. It's true. We can't even agree that it is okay to play games on a console, PC or mobile device. Artists have gone meta and can't even agree what is and isn't art (essential a panel of 14 big people in the art world dictate this).

7) Games are too cheap. Well it's no good if everyone* can get their hands on some of the greatest games of all time for barely the price of a blank canvas! How is anyone to feel privileged if they can just download it from steam or buy it off ebay? Stupid games.

8)There is no celebrity culture in gaming. Not necessarily a bad thing but it does mean that celebrating heroes is tricky and as such gamers don't really have much of a voice. Well maybe not yet. Nobody to fight our corner, or go on TV and make sensible comments or to tell the PM to back off unless you know what you are talking about! Yeah. Shit needs to get political.

9) There aren't so many big breasts in art. It is true. There are breasts in art but not so consistently as big as the ones in games. Guys, I really think we need to tone down the breast thing. It's just embarrassing and it is holding us back.

So there we have it. Proof that games are not art. But that is not such a bad thing. It means there's no elitism for one thing. Any more to add to the list? Pop something in the comments then you freak.

*Excludes most of Africa, large parts of South America and Asia.

Gamer Laureate

NB:

Some things aren't good enough for that other site we occassionally write for. And then sometimes we forget we've some stuff that doesn't get published and then it becomes out of date and then we post it here. Here is one such fine post.

You may all be delighted to have heard of the recent appointment of Carol Ann Duffy as the first female, first Scot and first openly bisexual person to become the poet laureate of the United States of the Kingdom of the UK. Congrats to Carol. Good job. But what does a poet laureate actually do you may ask? Aside from being a staple answer to a pub quiz question (and with three firsts Carol Ann Duffy will be the answer to trivial pursuit questions for many many years to come) a poet laureate composes poetry for state events as well as being a spokesperson for poetry. To disseminate its worth and to kindle the eternal flame of poetry at all costs. After all, there are few forms of media that will help you to get laid, 'I directed a film for you' just doesn't sound right.

It was upon reading about the new poet laureate here that I had a revelation. We need a gamer laureate. By need, I mean need as much if not more than we need a poet laureate. And by a gamer laureate I mean me.

It would be great. You get paid to disseminate the wonders of gaming to the nation, the state and the queen. And don't we need it? As gamer laureate here is my manifesto/action list:



1) A public campaign to raise awareness of bad games that should not be bought in any event, even if they are part of a bundle or £20 cheaper than a decent game.

2) I would make it part of my job to publicly challenge celebrities, politicians and international dignitaries at various video games. Would you trust the prime minister better if he was good at Mario Kart? I know I would. Fuck the elitist background, experience and acumen, if the man knew his way around Cheep Cheep Beach he'd do significantly better by me and undoubtedly better in the opinion polls. Similarly, global conflicts might be resolved by a best of 3 game of Dash to Destruction than through a bloody waste of life expensive and unpopular war.

3) I'd be an advocate for the gaming nation and work with other gamer laureates around the world to unite our underground nation. It always surprises me that gamers haven't formed their own nation yet. There's enough of us. Shit. Even if all the Wow players got together that is a respectable mass of people. We could control the world.

4) Work to preserve the gaming heritage. Every year, games slip away into the ether as discs, hardware and code is lost and damaged. As gamer laureate I'd create a national museum of video games. It would be at the V&A because the nation doesn't really need a national museum of clothing, cutlery and crockery. It would be great and at least people might be interested whilst they are museuming in London. It would be a great place to celebrate the achievements of British coders and gamers who, frankly have added more to individuals lives and wider contemporary culture than wanker millionaire artists.

5) Set up a charity national hints and tips phone line. Anyone who has ever seen a google analytic report for a gaming site will know that so many of our fellow gamers don't know how to use google or that gamefaqs even exists. I'd help to set up and run the helpline for gamers in need of that extra bit of advice. Helping gamers all over the nation to complete their games. The helpline would also be available to support victims of griefing, blue shelling, spawn camping and ganking. A demographic currently ignored by government.

6) I'd act as personal gamer to the Queen. If she every wanted to co-op Half Life or play a bit of deathmatch on CoD and Harry and Wills weren't around, I'd be her player 2 (or 3, not 4 though).

7) I'd work with national media to make sure they get their shit straight. No more errors or mistakes when blaming secondary school shootings on games and no more lies in the token 'games' sections in the newspapers and magazines.

8) I'd work hard to make gaming more socially acceptable than wine connoisseurs, bird watchers, foodies and people who play polo. Of course, we are more socially acceptable than these elitist snobbish hobbyists and activities but gaming has had a bad rep for such a long time it barely hovers above fiddie kiddling in the national lists. Support me to put gaming in it's rightful place, above people who waste wine for a hobby.

9) I would be available to play games with people at state events. After all they have to put up with poetry so a spot of minesweeper, micro maniacs or uno wouldn't be out of place. Would it?

10) Hand out the excellence in gaming awards every year. The awards are for those British people who have struggled against the odds to set new high scores, to top international leaderboards or for particularly impressive speed runs. Awards for notable gaming journalism, literature, machinima, fan fiction or audio remixes would also be awarded.


So that's it so far. It's a lot I know but it needs doing. Drop any suggestions in the comments and I'll send it to King Tony Blair to see what he thinks of the whole idea. I promise not to forget about the little people when I get there. x x x

Inevitability

Once you green light using negative stereotypes to convey message there is no going back. TGAM strikes back against this ridiculous facade.

Spot the difference!

Let's do more with the Wiimote

Okay kids. Wiimote has been around for quite a while and using it to waggle has been a staple use of it so far. Let's just say the pulse sensor thing hasn't exactly set us alight and wii motion plus is a bit of a rip off. ANy avid Wii gamer will now have a wii wheel, zapper, other attachments and wii speak. All of which work with one maybe two games. Either way by now every Wii owner has four wiimotes. Why don't games do some more creative things with them? You want free ideas here's some:



1) FPS and on-rail shooters.
So we've had Red Steel, House of the Dead Overkill and Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles. They were fun but why insist on pressing the d-pad to change weapon? Players should be able to map wiimotes 1-4 to different weapons. Want to change from pistol to shotgun? Just drop wiimote one and point wiimote 3 in a wii zapper at the screen. Voila! The shotgun pops up. It disappoints me that FPS on the Wii haven't done the popping up gun affect it is the simplest thing to do and adds to the immersion and you can't do it on any other system. Want to triple wield? Then just point wiimotes 1,2 and 4 at the screen at the same time and fire away. Simple.

2)Someone, somewhere just do a proper fucking light sabre please?
Just make it a dueling game with online play, character customisation, leaderboards, snapshots and saved replays. Instant winner. You could even use two wiimotes to dual wield or sell an attachment that links two together for a Darth Maul type affair.

3)Alternatively do a quick draw game.
Easy peasy. Make it Wiiware, leaderboards, character customisation etc. Do dual wielding as well (see where I am going with this?).

4) More Wiimote/balance board combinations please.
Skiing is obvious and boring. How about a version of armoured core where wiimotes 1 and 2 represent each of your arms and you can do clunky stomping about using the balance board. Make it with online play, character customisation, leaderboards, snapshots and saved replays. Instant winner.

5)Wiimote/Wii Wheel combinations.
Firing from a car is not as easy as Grand Theft Auto makes out. Make a Mario Kart game using the wii wheel and then incorporate another wiimote to use as a weapon (gun etc.) or perhaps a stick to stick into other players wheel spokes. In fact this might work better as a futuristic jousting game. The wheel controls the robot horse and the wiimote becomes your lance. Make it with online play, character customisation, leaderboards, snapshots and saved replays. Instant winner.

Those are just five ideas I came up with just now. Without giving it any proper thought. Come on Wii devs. Let's try to do more than waggling/remote controller set ups. Yeah?

Second Zzzzzzzzzz

Avatars. We love them and upcoming releases like Spore and LittleBigPlanet fill us with excitement. Customising avatars is fun. It's even better when you play against, or with, someone else. They're funny things. Some people are happy with understatement and can fully relate to a man in white underpants and black boots. Other people go crazy to get as far away as possible from the classic humanoid avatar. Here at TGAM we've been making avatars since V-Rally 2. Ok, so you could only enter your name and it would appear on the license plate of the car but that little difference made the game so much more fun. Next, was probably Quake 2 which would let you enter your name and choose a colour. Again, not a massive jump but it made a difference. For me WWF Smackdown 2 was the next big milestone. We went crazy creating our avatars and I still remember my character Zombie1 1, who for a while was dressed exactly the same as Ash Ketchum from the pokemon series albeit he was a 6ft blue zombie. I also have fond memories of my WWF women's champion 'Farley the rapist'. Along with the other members of Catch The Monkey and Other Games B69, 'Dr Wo 69's Cow Pie head', Blinko's 'Lord of Crap Legs', Robisgay's Hairy Mclarey and the unstoppable combination of Reno and Craig Hardy. I can remember the highs and lows of the careers of the characters we used to play endless seasons with. Nowadays with Animal Crossing, the Sims and a plethora of other customisation-focused games, character customisation almost comes as standard, if not it is often noted by it's absence.

Which brings me to my main grumble. In recent years there have been many one line art exhibitions or publications showcasing people and their avatars. Which is great. City of Heroes and World of Warcraft are often featured. The new Home avatars and Miis are also bound to make an appearance. Robbie Cooper's Alter Ego, now a book, was some well crafted stuff. What really gets my goat though is all the Second Life stuff like this 13 most beautiful avatars, a somedy something Any Warhol zzzzzzzzzzzz. There have been hundreds of these Second Life avatar jobbies from Uncanny Valley to the most recent 13 most beautiful avatars shabang. Now this is all great, it's good that these kinds of expos are going on, but MOST SECOND LIFE AVATARS LOOK LIKE SECRETARIES. All the possibilities for customisation, you could be a dragon, a beaver, or a panda robot being driven by a little panda and yet many of these bandwagon expos and news articles focus on the metaverse of secretaries. Check here again (Wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, would, wouldn't [Homophobe], wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, might, btw). Most beautiful? Most beautiful? Most generic more like. So here is TGAM's 10 most beautiful avatars from "it's been ruined since people from outside of San Francisco have joined in" metaverse chatroom Second Life.

Yeah, I know that they are just taken from the outdated 2nd look site but these 10 avatars are more beatiful than 100 generic secretaries. From top left to bottom right: Big samurai women, Banjo worm, Titty mermaid, snoopy, hello kitty, patchwork lady, white man, baby seal, middle seal, fat seal. And all woulds except middle seal.

So please, go about your own second life business as you wish, be a secretary if that is what you want but for all the people out there doing meta-verse expos because you were never that good at art, more of an art historian if your degree is to be taken seriously, but it's easier to take screenshots or to just ask people for their screenshots, then please try to not do another 20 most beatiful secretaries skit. We've all seen people who look like secretaries but we've never seen a banjo playing worm or a ginger samurai women. Also, can we all stop pretending to use second life for more than just cyber sex. We all know that everyone in Second Life are retarded fatsos or 10 year old boys so lets drop the pretense. Okay?

Nooch Cunzy1 1

Games as Art

At TGAM we don't care if anyone thinks of games as art or not. Do you remember the early 2000's when you couldn't move for the internets, mags and forums explaining are games art question? Endless touting of Ico or Rez as pure art. All the while in America there were loads of videogame-art exhibitions. Have you noticed how all the posts this year seem to be very nostalgic? Is it because with the exception of "Halo 3 not yet released" is the only news at the moment? Who can say. Anyway. TGAM, one time only, no more discussion; GAMES AS ART.

If we were pushed we could put Games under the umbrella of art but I wouldn't. Art and Art Galleries fall under my remit as part of my real work outside of Planet TGAM and if you want to associate Games with pretense, boredom, elitism, waste of time and evolutionary worthless then yes, Games are Art*.

All I know is that I'd rather watch final fantasy AMVs set to that song by Linkin Park endlessly than watch David Beckham sleeping, people shouting, a bowl of fruit decomposing or a naked woman slowly slide off her chair. I'd prefer to play Devil May Cry on Dante must Die difficulty than sit through a typical art lecture telling me that obscure foreign art made by an obscure artist during a boring period in history has revolutionised the way we live today. I'd prefer to watch reuns of GamesMaster or a documentary on why Devil Dice is turning American Teens into killers than watch some Oxbridge nonce with 20 silver spoons up his arse explore the 18th Century artwork in a grand mansion in Wiltshire. Of course you may like art but do you go around denouncing things as art? I'm a scientist by training but I don't denounce things as Science or not science.But I guess I'm busy whereas the thousands of work for food art historian graduates have nothing better to do than to convince the Guardian or museums that in fact Pong is the most significant work of art in the 21st Century.

Both gaming and art are marginalised and many people choose to leave both to do other things like get laid, buy houses, drive fast, die on a mountain or have kids. So there is a lot of common ground there. But there is potential. The problem is with a lot of game art is that, as my good friend Brother of ChunkySalsa says a lot of it is "one line art" i.e. it can be explained in one line. There's no deeper levels. Often it looks nice because it's digital. Members of the public say "ooooh", gamers says "i think the fourth level of the Thing would communicate this idea better" and art critics say "what a nice use of media but it's not really art". Game-art needs to either explore gaming or to provoke a viewer response.

Here's some one line game art people should do. Unemployed new media artists feel free to steal this ideas as long as you reference That Guy's a Maniac and as long as you do a sex roleplay with your partner where you call each other Cunzy1 1 and Richie:

1) Record someone playing through Final Fantasy VII to the end recording every single button press. They should then stick Playstation controller buttons to a wall in the sequence in which they were pressed. This piece of art would communicate the dynamic nature of player-controller interface albeit in a static way. It would also highlight how much fucking time gamers waste on a big game with a silly storyline.

2) Create a selection of pikups from Halo and leave them strewn around the gallery. People can pick them up and carry them but they have a timer. When the timer goes off gallery visitors have to drop them. This art highlights the concept of death and camping in FPS as well as highlighting our own mortality

3) Wall of death. An artist should get the online records for one of the squillions of online FPS. They should then construct a wall similar to the Vietnam Veteran's Wall and put all the tags up of people who were fragged. Gamers would come to see if their name was there and it would be controversial, which art galleries and critics love because it condones violence and equates real war with shooting games. Also, I would love to see Cunzy1 1 engraved onto a nice marble.

4) Something Awful Gallery. Someone should just rip all the hilarious videogame photoshop phridays by the genius goons something awful. This art would replace the usual elitism of art galleries with the elitism of the message boards and forums of the internets. The elitism of not knowing your game history.

5) Put Rez on a TV in a gallery and everytime someone says "Oh cool, Rez!" the building burns down instantly. This art explores the themes of combustion and going on and on and on about really average old games. Cough Resident Evil

6) Build the museum from Animal Crossing. That would work. Well Wired and boing boing would love it I guess.

If you are an out of work arts graduate and I suspect if you are an arts graduate you are unemployed and you want more ideas for lazy art based on videogames to get some exhibition together in a Local Authority Museum then give us a shout. We're full of shit ideas like this that you only wish you could of dreamt of that time your friend invited you to an art exhibition where you got to speak to the director for five minutes.

Cunzyed

*Dinosaur art is of course the greatest art ever and dinosaur games are art this is not up for debate